Tuesday, January 30, 2007
The stuff beans are made of
Late night movie classes are taking their toll on me. Me and my stomach, anyway. With only 15 minute breaks between various screenings and lectures and meandering group discussions it's tough to get the proper nutritional intake besides potato chips or cans of Pepsi. So I'm doubling up on my breakfasts (omelette AND oatmeal?!) to make up for the lack of a decent lunch. And late dinners are the norm. Mmmm. Just finished my CHICKEN.
Maybe I'd eat proplery if I didn't go see KITA NO ZERONEN or Year One in the North. Or something. It's basically Japan's version of Oscar bait. Almost three hours long of weeping, crying, longing, gasping, staring and being noble and/or honorable. It's a chick flick. A romance novel. I'm sure it's based on a book. It's gotta be. It's got a novel's snail-like stench (and pace) all over it. You know what woke me up as I was dozing off? The sight of a gun onscreen. My eyes snapped open. What does that say about me?
It has the badass Ken Watanabe though I'm not quite sure his badassitude is well-earned or not now because he's yet to have a substantial role in an honest-to-God good movie yet, as far as I can tell. Remember The Last Samurai? Kita No Zeronen is hokier than that. Remember Memoirs of a Geisha? That's a much hokier movie but this one comes close. Remember Batman Begins? Yeah? ME TOO!! GOD. What an AWESOME MOVIE. Kita No Zeronen isn't. =(
You know how people complain some movies aren't believable, that they're fake? This is one of those movies. It begs you take it seriously because everyone in the movie is, even when the father leaves and never returns (natch), when a guy sets himself on fire to save his crop, when the horses run away but DON'T WORRY THEY'RE BACK. It's hokey and fake and I didn't buy any of it. If Charlotte Bronte was Japanese she would'a wrote Kita No Zeronen.
On the other hand, I saw Body Heat, which wants you to take it as seriously as it'll let you. It winks at the audience, says "Yes, this is noir so take the snappy dialogue and recycled plot in stride and enjoy Kathleen Turner's legs." I mean, it practically says that. Ted Danson's in it. He dances around in circles by himself and it's funny in this movie because 1.) it's Ted Danson and he has huge Coke bottle eyeglasses and B.) the movie's aware of its kitschy Tarantino-y satus. Whereas, in Kita No Zeronen, everyone's squeezing their tearducts out saying stuff like "A dream is only a dream unless you make it happen" which I find much more unbelievable than Body Heat's hardboiled "Sometimes the shit comes down so heavy I feel like I should wear a hat." And sure enough, he gets a snap-brimmed hat. So which movie is hokier? Which movie works?
You know my answer, baby. Now be a sweetheart, kiddo. Close the door and turn the lights off, I got daggers in my eyes.
Monday, January 29, 2007
For All Practical Porpoises
It's BEEN A WHILE.
|:3
Taking a silent cinema and REMAKES class this semester. Should be boffo. Silent film's a challenge so far. The class is FOUR HOURS LONG!!!1 and I got stuff like Birth of a Nation coming up. Can I stand a 3+ hour racist epic? We'll find out.
Remakes is much more contemporary and I'm familiar with pretty much every movie on the syllabus (T2 for college? I'm in... the right college!) but it should be nice. The recitation is cool. Everyone seems to enjoy my (formerly-)bearded presence, and hey, that's what REALLY matters in a class. Plus there's a cute gal from Amsterdam. Oh ho, time to show her the sights. }:3
Saw King of Scotland last night. It was okay. Most overrated movie of the year for sure but Forrest was good, can't deny that. The plot was just so by-the-numbers conventional. You know what's gonna happen, you've seen it all before. It reminded me of Salvador, mixing a fictional protagonist - particularly, putting a white face on foreign suffering - with historical happenings. I think I liked Salvador better but that may be a terrible comparison to begin with. Both are pretty "meh" movies in the broad scheme of things.
Chicken.
