Monday, May 28, 2007
Pump the Grump
All further transmissions are now made at GRUMP FACTORY.
Check out reviews of 28 Weeks Later, Final Fantasy XII, LOST, and Satoshi Kon's latest, Paprika.
Grump Factory: Pump the Grump.
Check out reviews of 28 Weeks Later, Final Fantasy XII, LOST, and Satoshi Kon's latest, Paprika.
Grump Factory: Pump the Grump.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
One Year Later - 100 Movies
The past two semesters I watched 100 movies either in class, on DVD on my own through Netflix, on TV, or in the theater. Here they are. Rated and ordered from The Protector, from the summer of 2006, to Fast Times at Ridgemont High, which I watched on Comedy Central this past weekend. This list used to be in my AIM profile (SirTMagus), a convenient place to catalogue the flicks I've been watching. No more movies can fit because of AIM's lame-o text restrictions so, plop, they go here. The 101st movie is Miami Vice, which I saw (again) in my film remakes class.
1. The Protector (4 out of 4)
2. GoldenEye (3 out of 4)
3. The Day the Earth Stood Still (3 out of 4)
4. Patlabor (2.5 out of 4)
5. Star Wars Special Edition (2.5 out of 4)
6. Princess Mononoke (4 out of 4)
7. Forbidden Planet (3 out of 4)
8. Hollywoodland (1.5 out of 4)
9. E.T. (2 out of 4)
10. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (3 out of 4)
11. Poltergeist (1.5 out of 4)
12. Crash (1 out of 4)
13. Infernal Affairs (3 out of 4)
14. Tron (2 out of 4)
15. Red Dawn (1 out of 4)
16. Demon Seed (2 out of 4)
17. Arsenic & Old Lace (3 out of 4)
18. Westworld (2.5 out of 4)
19. Wasabi (2 out of 4)
20. Barbarella (3 out of 4)
21. Fearless (2.5 out of 4)
22. The Shining (4 out of 4)
23. Rambo First Blood Part II (3 out of 4)
24. Zardoz (1 out of 4)
25. Family Game (2.5 out of 4)
26. The Prestige (4 out of 4)
27. Fatal Attraction (2 out of 4)
28. Dead Man (2.5 out of 4)
29. Johnny Mnemonic (1.5 out of 4)
30. Coma (2 out of 4)
31. Born in Flames (1 out of 4)
32. Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind (3.5 out of 4)
33. Vampire Hunter D (0 out of 4)
34. She's Gotta Have It (3 out of 4)
35. The Departed (3.5 out of 4)
36. Koyaanisqatsi (3 out of 4)
37. Black Rain (1.5 out of 4)
38. Dawn of the Dead remake (3 out of 4)
39. Day of the Dead (3 out of 4)
40. Tenacius D in Pick of Destiny (2.5 out of 4)
41. Minority Report (3 out of 4)
42. Casino Royale (3.5 out of 4)
43. Borat (3 out of 4)
44. From Russia With Love (2.5 out of 4)
45. Drunken Master 2 (2.5 out of 4)
46. The Getaway (3 out of 4)
47. Salvador (2.5 out of 4)
48. Blade Runner (5 out of 4)
49. Ghost in the Shell (5 out of 4)
50. Wall Street (2 out of 4)
51. Solaris (4 out of 4)
52. The Lake House (2 out of 4)
53. Volver (1 out of 4)
54. The Fountain (3.5 out of 4)
55. Roger & Me (2.5 out of 4)
53. Aliens (5 out of 4)
54. Babel (2 out of 4)
55. Inland Empire (? out of 4)
56. The Omega Man (1.5 out of 4)
57. Flash Gordon (1.5 out of 4)
58. Hanabi (3 out of 4)
59. The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 (3 out of 4)
60. License to Kill (1.5 out of 4)
61. Inside Man (3 out of 4)
62. The Proposition (2.5 out of 4)
63. Land of the Dead (3 out of 4)
64. Pan's Labyrinth (3 out of 4)
65. Little Miss Sunshine (3 out of 4)
66. 12:01 (2.5 out of 4)
67. Logan's War (1 out of 4)
68. Demolition Man (1.5 out of 4)
69. Kingdom of Heaven Director's Cut (3 out of 4)
70. Yojimbo (3 out of 4)
71. Last King of Scotland (2 out of 4)
72. Body Heat (2.5 out of 4)
73. Kita no Zeronen (1.5 out of 4)
74. Children of Men (3.5 out of 4)
75. Batman Begins (6 out of 4)
76. Body Double (1.5 out of 4)
77. Bad Education (2.5 out of 4)
78. Retribution (2.5 out of 4)
79. Narc (3.5 out of 4)
80. Birth of a Nation (1.5 out of 4)
81. The Queen (2.5 ot of 4)
82. The Hills Have Eyes remake (3 out of 4)
83. Solid State Society (147+ out of 4)
84. Terminator 2 (4 out of 4)
85. Girl Who Leapt Through Time (4 out of 4)
86. Conan the Barbarian (2.5 out of 4)
87. 300 (3 out of 4)
88. Fullmetal Alchemist movie (2 out of 4)
89. Rope (3.5 out of 4)
90. Nayakan (1.5 out of 4)
91. The Host (3 out of 4)
92. The Virgin Spring (3 out of 4)
93. Reign Over Me (2 out of 4)
94. TMNT (2 out of 4)
95. Grindhouse (2.5 out of 4)
96. Cujo (1.5 out of 4)
97. Memories of Murder (3 out of 4)
98. Fritz Lang's Metropolis (3 out of 4)
99. Double Indemnity (3 out of 4)
100. Fast Times at Ridgemont High (2 out of 4)
101. Miami Vice (2 out of 4)
Movies in bold were released in 2007.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
No reason to get excited
OK.
Final Fantasy III for DS.
This game is going on a one-way trip.
A one-way trip STRAIGHT UP MY ASS.
WHY is there no save points in dungeons?! What FUCKING ASSHOLE at Square Enix thought that was a bright idea? Especially when there's a random shitty battle nearly EVERY STEP. And the waiting period (3 battles or whatever!) to switch between jobs? That can lick my balls. Especially when I just gain a new spell for my useless black mage who is suddenly NOT useless because I GOT A NEW SPELL!!!!11111 Better switch my useless thief back to a black mage to use this strong spell that might be good!
So.
I'm in the Cave of Water or whatever. With Aria, this princess whore. Who casts Cura or Protect randomly on me - RANDOMLY - so when I cast Cura or Cure I'm effectively WASTING my MP. Thanks, Aria. You slimy bitch. I can't replenish my MP. At least not in the middle of a dungeon. And there are no ethers. So, with MP impossible to recover in the middle of a dungeon with no save points AND ENDLESS RANDOM BATTLES I can't help but eventually run out of MP and ways of healing all together.
Add a cheap overstrong octopus boss (not Ultros), NO phoenix downs (can't buy those and I haven't found any in hours!) and that's a fucking night of dungeon crawling down the drain.
I swear to fucking god.
Every Final Fantasy before FF6 can go. To.
HELL.
Meanwhile. I deftly placed the DS cartridge up my sphincter.
Where it shall remain.
FOR ALL ETERNITY.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
The stuff beans are made of
Late night movie classes are taking their toll on me. Me and my stomach, anyway. With only 15 minute breaks between various screenings and lectures and meandering group discussions it's tough to get the proper nutritional intake besides potato chips or cans of Pepsi. So I'm doubling up on my breakfasts (omelette AND oatmeal?!) to make up for the lack of a decent lunch. And late dinners are the norm. Mmmm. Just finished my CHICKEN.
Maybe I'd eat proplery if I didn't go see KITA NO ZERONEN or Year One in the North. Or something. It's basically Japan's version of Oscar bait. Almost three hours long of weeping, crying, longing, gasping, staring and being noble and/or honorable. It's a chick flick. A romance novel. I'm sure it's based on a book. It's gotta be. It's got a novel's snail-like stench (and pace) all over it. You know what woke me up as I was dozing off? The sight of a gun onscreen. My eyes snapped open. What does that say about me?
It has the badass Ken Watanabe though I'm not quite sure his badassitude is well-earned or not now because he's yet to have a substantial role in an honest-to-God good movie yet, as far as I can tell. Remember The Last Samurai? Kita No Zeronen is hokier than that. Remember Memoirs of a Geisha? That's a much hokier movie but this one comes close. Remember Batman Begins? Yeah? ME TOO!! GOD. What an AWESOME MOVIE. Kita No Zeronen isn't. =(
You know how people complain some movies aren't believable, that they're fake? This is one of those movies. It begs you take it seriously because everyone in the movie is, even when the father leaves and never returns (natch), when a guy sets himself on fire to save his crop, when the horses run away but DON'T WORRY THEY'RE BACK. It's hokey and fake and I didn't buy any of it. If Charlotte Bronte was Japanese she would'a wrote Kita No Zeronen.
On the other hand, I saw Body Heat, which wants you to take it as seriously as it'll let you. It winks at the audience, says "Yes, this is noir so take the snappy dialogue and recycled plot in stride and enjoy Kathleen Turner's legs." I mean, it practically says that. Ted Danson's in it. He dances around in circles by himself and it's funny in this movie because 1.) it's Ted Danson and he has huge Coke bottle eyeglasses and B.) the movie's aware of its kitschy Tarantino-y satus. Whereas, in Kita No Zeronen, everyone's squeezing their tearducts out saying stuff like "A dream is only a dream unless you make it happen" which I find much more unbelievable than Body Heat's hardboiled "Sometimes the shit comes down so heavy I feel like I should wear a hat." And sure enough, he gets a snap-brimmed hat. So which movie is hokier? Which movie works?
You know my answer, baby. Now be a sweetheart, kiddo. Close the door and turn the lights off, I got daggers in my eyes.
Monday, January 29, 2007
For All Practical Porpoises
It's BEEN A WHILE.
|:3
Taking a silent cinema and REMAKES class this semester. Should be boffo. Silent film's a challenge so far. The class is FOUR HOURS LONG!!!1 and I got stuff like Birth of a Nation coming up. Can I stand a 3+ hour racist epic? We'll find out.
Remakes is much more contemporary and I'm familiar with pretty much every movie on the syllabus (T2 for college? I'm in... the right college!) but it should be nice. The recitation is cool. Everyone seems to enjoy my (formerly-)bearded presence, and hey, that's what REALLY matters in a class. Plus there's a cute gal from Amsterdam. Oh ho, time to show her the sights. }:3
Saw King of Scotland last night. It was okay. Most overrated movie of the year for sure but Forrest was good, can't deny that. The plot was just so by-the-numbers conventional. You know what's gonna happen, you've seen it all before. It reminded me of Salvador, mixing a fictional protagonist - particularly, putting a white face on foreign suffering - with historical happenings. I think I liked Salvador better but that may be a terrible comparison to begin with. Both are pretty "meh" movies in the broad scheme of things.
Chicken.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Well, there goes our salvage, guys
Holy fucking cocks, am I on a high!
It's past 5:30 and I just my second wind to finish my grand paper on Aliens and its 1980s-ness. Finishing up probably my BEST semester ever - I can easily see all A's this time around. Why? Because of awesome classes. FINALLY. I'm a CINEMA MAJOR. Movies of the 80s was a class. MY FAVORITE SUBJECT.
EVER.
AND I just finished taking a break from my paper... playing Counter-Strike. I haven't played in ages. Must've been a billion years. It was great! I swear, that game is in my blood. It's the SYMBIOTE. I got right back into the game as if it was middle school again. As if I was really THERE. My toes got cold, my eyes darted left and right, checking each corner my fingers were ultra-responsive, HEADSHOT HEADSHOT HEADSHOT OHHH MAAAANNNN~~
18-3 on Dust2 and 13-4 on Italy. Not too shabby if I do say so myself. Granted, I was playing against FOREIGNERS and we all know how savvy they are. Thank god they weren't Korean. Still. I can't believe how swiftly it all came back. Like Starcraft, that game is just so immersive and well-designed. If I could take my PC with those games and SNES (or Wii with SNES Virtual Console!!1) I think I'd be set for my videogaming life.
Now if only I had that kind of enthusiasm for practical abilities.
AW WELL.
It's Christmas time. Time to throw practicality and responsibility to the winds!
OR should I say...
snows? :3
Aw well. Time to finish that paper!!1
Monday, November 20, 2006
Tanksgiving
The holidays are coming... I can't wait to go hoooooooooooome!!! Friends! Family! Wine! Women! Song!
Wii.
Bren stayed out all night waiting outside Circuit City in West Nyack with a friend on Sunday. Apparently they all huddled together in blankets like a caveman gaming clan and bonded over Mortal Kombat, Smash Bros., Gears of War and all sorts of other games. Then they all got Wiis and Twilight Princesses.
I gotta say, I'm a little jealous.
Though I spent my Sunday playing Final Fantasy 12 which seems good enough on its own, like I don't need Wii or Zelda.
...
WHAT AM I SAYING?!?!
I ALSO attained Animal Crossing DS today, used for $20 at a second-hand gaming hole-in-the-wall in NYC here. MUCH better deal than the ridiculous $30+ they still charge at Gamestop. What's the deal there? The game's more than a year old and it's still charging full price (give or take five bucks?) Bollocks I say. Though the the kid at the store did almost tempt me with a $25 used copy of Contact. But I want to plant PEARS and draw T-SHIRTS.
