Monday, September 19, 2005
Ninja Gayden
A dumb stupid screenplay experiment by Timothy Torres. 9/19/2005.
EXT. CITY SIDEWALK - DAY
TOBY and CATHERINE walk out of class onto the busy street, people from all walks of life passing them by. Toby is a boy of 19, his backpack slung over one shoulder, hands in his pockets. Catherine's the same age. She looks mad or at least flustered at a textbook she's holding.
CATHERINE
'...One way of looking at a tree is to think about the lumber it might produce.'
TOBY
What the hell? That's like saying 'One way of looking at a woman is to think about the children she might bear' or 'how many times she can be plugged-'
Catherine gives him a disgusted look.
TOBY (CONT'D)
'...at once.'
CATHERINE
That class is outrageous. I hate it. I've got to drop it or my GPA's ruined.
TOBY
'You got to drop it like it's hot.'
CATHERINE
It's the only course of action I can take. This semester is looking more and more grim.
TOBY
'See these ice cubes? See these ice creams?'
CATHERINE
Are you even concerned?
TOBY
About what? School? Work? Catherine, c'mon. All you've got to be worried about is... um. Ninja kidnappings.
A ninja picks Catherine up over its shoulder and leaps away.
TOBY (CONT'D)
Jeezum crow!
CATHERINE
Toby!
TOBY
Catherine!
The ninja and Catherine are out of sight. Toby is left alone among the apathetic pedestrians.
TOBY (CONT'D)
Oh... oh my god! Did no one just see that?!
After a beat, Toby is shocked out of his... previous shock by a voice from behind.
VOICE FROM BEHIND
I did, young one.
Toby turns around to meet TOMOZU, a lean, very tall man dressed in ninja garb not unlike Catherine's kidnapper. His face is covered by a mask but his eyes and puffy black hair are visible. He stands calm and cross-armed.
TOBY
Just who are you?!
TOMOZU
Calm yourself. I am Tomozu. I saw what happened, I can help you. You'll have to come with me.
Toby looks around to see if anyone else notices the big ninja he's talking to. No one notices.
TOMOZU (CONT'D)
It's dangerous out in the open. We must talk in private. Follow me.
Tomozu leaps up the side of the building they're in front of. Toby looks up momentarily then walks away.
EXT. CITY PARK - SOME TIME LATER
Toby is walking swiftly down a path, covered by the shadow of trees. Afternoon sunlight peeks through the leaves. His determined pace is interrupted by Tomozu, who leaps out of a nearby bush.
TOMOZU
Why didn't you come?
Toby ignores him and brushes past.
TOMOZU (CONT'D)
Why do you ignore me?
Toby continues walking forward but calls back.
TOBY
I'm calling the cops!
A puff of smoke blossoms before Toby and Tomozu emerges.
TOMOZU
You can't involve the police. Conventional justice will not do in this situation.
TOBY
I'm calling the cops on you!
A beat.
TOMOZU
Jeez, okay kid, here. Have her back.
Another puff of smoke and Catherine is back.
CATHERINE
Toby!
Catherine hugs Toby.
TOBY
Did this guy do anything to you?
CATHERINE
No, we just... had a salad.
TOMOZU
(sadly)
I just wanted a bit of company for lunch. Is that too much to ask?
Tomozu sulks away and disappears in another plume of smoke. After a beat of confusion Catherine turns to Toby.
TOBY
...Catherine?
CATHERINE
Toby. Anymore sarcastic remarks about mythical Chinese warrior kidnappings out of you and I kill you. Got me?
TOBY
Ninjas are Japanese.
Catherine kills Toby.
# posted by magusart @ 11:36 PM 
