OMG Full Of Vigor!

Unf.

So this is an existential 4-man play I tried out for with my pal George. We read together for the two leads, he was Vladimir and I was Estragon. I thought it went really well. The directors laughed and commented on our camaraderie. We even had a gay little dance/spin move because, IMHO, this play is a gay play. Or at least vaguely gay. As I read I thought of this guy:

Stark from Farscape. Manic, wacko, insane but still somewhat coherent. And vaguely gay. Fitting, I thought.

I felt good, George felt good, we got called back. Next day, I'm fifteen minutes late because I couldn't decide what to wear. Vaguely gay quickly turned to extremely gay just then and I wasn't even acting.

I got off the longest bus ride ever and ran to the building. I get there finally, huffing and puffing, and there's just the director and two people, some guy and a girl I'd later learn to be the stage manager. I was under the impression that there'd be more people. I knew George couldn't go because he had a class and he told me he got an e-mail the night before saying he already got a part anyway. So George got 3 out of 4 possible parts.

I knew I didn't have a chance but I went anyway. This stuff is fun right? I'm a fun-loving guy. :D
So the director had me try out for Lucky, who is this idiot-slave that the cruel Pozzo drags around by a leash. Yup. No chance.

All he wanted me to do was stand next to the guy, reading for Pozzo, and be pathetic. I thought "Okay...?" that's easy. I got a freakishly expressive face, giant bulbous Peter Lorre eyes. I can handle this. So as the guy gave his monologue I just contorted myself, acted as slave-like and painful as possible and rolled around and rubbed my head against his chubby stomach. The chubby stomach of some guy I never met before.

The director stopped us and thanked us. I was sweaty and out of breath. There was no laughing and the girl was sitting in the back just blankly looking at me. I waited for the next direction.

Then realized that was it. Two minutes of being a retarded dick and that was my callback.

I didn't make the cut.

I thanked them, wished the guy good luck and walked out.

I feel dirty and used.

That could've been my boot getting yanked off.