Monday, May 08, 2006
I need a break
I'm looking foward to Superman Returns. Sort of. I'm not expecting anything good anymore ever again from anything judging from this past month's experiences but something has to be good about it. It's the movie Singer chose to do instead of X3, but I REALLY wish he did X3 so he could've prevented seething bullshit like this. Don't click that if you actually want to avoid spoilers and "be surprised" for when you see it in theaters but the surprising thing about it looks like crap anyway so you might as well get it over with. Bite the bullet. Then load that bullet. Into a pistol. And blast a hole in your palm in hopes your new pain will overwrite the pain caused by that poisonous footage.
Remember Contact? With Jodie Foster and Matthew McCogngnahgaueughahey finding signs of extraterrestrial life through an old broadcast message of Hitler or something? I imagine that clip from X3 as the message we will really find. I imagine Jodie Foster and Matthew McConnahonnawhatthefuck finding that snowy footage, looking at each other with pained, disgusted snarls on their faces, the type of expressions on people you see walking out of a Penn Station bathroom - or anywhere in New York really - and throwing their arms up in the air in surrender only to have James Woods swoop down from a suspended ceiling chain and lop their arms off to use in his perverted James Woods rituals. Then, being the evil James Woods deviant he is, he sends them to space anyway but instead of Jodie Foster's benevolent dad - which was torturous to begin with - they're subjected to getting their heels drilled and filled with hot wax. Because of that clip.
I honestly, truly believe that with every fiber of my soul, with what little worth I have left as a human being on this earth.
...
I mean FUCK did that set come from 1985? Did Roger Avary write that witty banter? Is Brett Ratner really Joel Schumacher in disguise?
A fat hairy disguise?
Save us, Superman. Save me from this frustration and pain.
# posted by magusart @ 3:33 AM 
